Thursday, January 29, 2009

My first trip to an English Nightclub

When I imagine a European nightclub, or "discoteca," I think of the scene from the movie Eurotrip. Techno music blaring, people popping E, Carmen Electra-wannabes grinding on a glass ceiling, and of course, two fraternal twins making out. So when I heard Monday night is the big night for Canterbury's main nightclub, The Works, I was stoked.

The opening night's theme was "schoolgirls." Considering my roommates and I had no idea where to find a B. Spears outfit in quaint little Canterbury, we stuck with nightclub gear. We took the bus to the club, packing in the back with other wasted Americans and boys dressed in plaid skits and belly button-bearing oxfords.

Once we got off the bus, people started sprinting. We didn't know why until we saw the massive "queue," as the English call it. The line went around the block, full of more schoolgirls with cigarettes in one hand and a Strongbow in the other (cheap cider). Eurotrip here I come.

We hoped the line would move quickly. And hoped. We were smushed shoulder to shoulder for 45 minutes. Forty-five minutes with drunk schoolboys. In the freezing cold. Every 20 minutes the crowd would surge forward and we could take one baby step forward. I started formulating an escape plan in my head in case I suffocated. It involved my elbow and the word "vomit."

After the 45 minutes and a 10-pound lighter body, I stepped into The Works. Not as glamorous as Eurotrip's club, but it seemed just as wild. Lady Gaga was bumping, fog machines puffed away, schoolgirls swung their braids around and kids packed the bar.

We had to wait another 20 minutes to check our coats (which cost 1 pound), and 25 minutes to buy a vodka shot half the size of my thumb (2.50 pounds). I won't even mention the line for the bathroom.

When we finally pulled ourselves away from lines and hit the dance floor, Bon Jovi was blasting on the "cheese floor," the first of The Works' three floors. The cheese floor plays 90's American music like "Mmm Bop," "Baby Got Back" and "Apache." The English go wild for it. Bon Jovi, yeah! The second floor is techno, and the third is R&B/hip hop (someone said Kurdish music too), but we never made it past the cheese floor.

After one hour of dancing to Aerosmith and two Jack and cokes (which took 20 minutes each to get), we were ready to leave. I needed clean air, space and boys dressed like boys.

So there weren't any twins making out or people popping E, but I think the cheese music and schoolboys sufficed. And now I can say I've been to a European club. Cheers!

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